Great Darwin's Ghost

Expelled is this year’s guaranteed blockbuster hit. It is the thrilling story of how one ideology (Intelligent Design) against all odds (the facts) manages to desperately cling to life with its trusty sidekick Ben Stein (the guy from the Clear Eyes ads). This nonstop thrill ride will leave you on the edge of your seat, wondering why you should give the slightest fuck about the bullshit politics swirling within the effete academic community.

The controversy fueled by this documentary is like an onion, there are layers built around layers. On the outside, this movie is given as though it is a fair presentation of a myopic scientific community, so tied to one belief system that it can’t be bothered to listen to dissenting points of view. The next layer is the far meatier question of whether or not Intelligent Design still represents a substantial enough dissenting view that the scientific community must oblige the arguments of ID proponents. I have a great idea: let’s let the mass of citizens not educated in evolutionary biology be the judge of that. In fact, while we’re at it, let’s pare the debate down to a highly sensationalized 90-minute movie slanted entirely from the perspective of the ID side. That’ll settle the issue once and for all.

Layer after layer is peeled away, until we arrive at the gooey, nougatty core of this onion: what about God? This is really what drives the sales for this movie, and this is the reason it was screened in churches before its pending release. The balls-to-the-wall God-fearing community needs some nugget to feed their persecution complexes, and, since Passion of the Christ II would certainly involve far fewer images of excruciating torture, this pseudoscientific blather will have to do. Don’t get me wrong. I think the God question is interesting in its own right. But this movie won’t open the debate; it’ll just harden the factions.

And I nearly forgot, why is Ben Stein tying his illustrious and prestigious career to this nonsense? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?