The Way He Were

(Photobucket asked if I wanted to edit this image. How could it possibly be improved upon?)

So we all know that Bush has finally entered the realm of irrelevance and soon history will decide if we, the Americans of the new millenium, were foolish for not impeaching him or simply for letting him live. Now that he's been reduced to the status of lame fuck (I mean...nah, I'll stick with that), even Bush himself must be wondering how he'll best be remembered. Harmless dumbass or full-blown super villain? Evil war monger or retarded economy destroyer? Only time - and probably some sort of Men In Black-style memory erasing device - can determine that.

The whole thng reminds of me of when I was just a baby blueneck and I first became aware (probably via Looney Tunes, which is no longer on TV for today's kids, but that's a subject for another post) that Nixon was a shitty president. I asked my father why this guy, of all the American presidents, seemed so reviled. He rattled off a list that went well beyond Vietnam and Watergate and left me with a bad taste in my mouth which at that stage in my life had previously only been caused by brussel sprouts and this weird quiche shit my mom used to make. I walked away with a true sense of the fact that this was not a matter of history being unkind, that this guy was indeed a piece of shit, that he enjoyed the kind of reign of terror that the country only survives because of term limits and impeachments. And that's the impression I seek to give Tylers Jr. through XII when they ask my re-animated head in a jar why everyone hates this guy called Dubya so much.

Naturally one can never explain with words alone the horrors of the holocaust or the McRibwich. Somethings must be experienced firsthand in order to understand how truly terrible they were. But I'm curious, how would you explain to your children, or simply the Americans of the future, why Bush was so terrible? Would you just stick to the basics like engaging the country in a costly and unnecessary war at the expense of thousands of American lives or proposing upper-class tax cuts during said war, helping to plunge a booming economy into a deep recession? Or would you dredge up some forgotten scandals and atrocities like his defense of torture, his capitalizing on the tragedy of 9/11, the Valerie Plame ordeal, the fiasco that was No Child Left Behind:

(I don't be knowing little retard. I don't be knowing.)

his idiotic and underhanded attempt at privatizing Social Security, his theft of a national election, his use of Human Growth Hormone to improve his ERA - sorry, that last one was baseball great Roger Clemens. But, you get the point, there's a lot to work with and I'm sure I left some out, it's been a long eight years. So leave a comment with your favorite of Dubya's Greatest Hits and how you plan to slander him in the eyes of your children. Personally, I'll be contributing to his legacy in my own way: I've started refering to genital warts as G.W. Bush. I'm hoping it catches on. With your help the children of the future will think of an unsightly, diseased crotch when they hear the name of our 43rd president. That's a world I want to live in.

(Fuck you world! YEEEEEE-HAW!)